Thing #17 - Check. Check. Sibilance. Sibilance.

Remember when you were a kid and your dad let you play with his 10 pound portable tape recorder? Ok. Maybe you don't, but my brother and I spent HOURS recording ourselves doing everything from singing songs, to recording our own radio shows, to actually recording the audio of our favorite TV shows to listen to later at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. I even have some of those tapes, but I'm not sharing my portion of our recordings with anyone. Why? Because I hate the sound of my own voice. I cringe when my boyfriend plays aloud my voice mails I've left for him. I sound so stupid! And, frankly, this is my greatest fear about creating my own podcasts. Well, that and the fact that in my head I'm 5'9" and rail thin; reality is just too cruel. I have, however, subscribed in the past to several other peoples' podcasts through both iTunes and NPR. My first attempt was with Garrison Keillor's Tales from Lake Woebegone. Each week, there would be a new update waiting for me on my iPod (assuming I remembered to plug it into my computer once a week for updating). I ran into two problems. First, I never got around to listening to a podcast until after it had been deleted (Mr. Keillor only shares his stories without charge for about a week). I had hoped that they would just keep piling up until I got around to listening to them all and then I could have a Lake Woebegone marathon. Second, I, unfortunately, have never taken the time to actually master the workings of my iPod. I mean, I know how to work it, but it gets a little more complicated in my car which is where I do most of my listening. As a result, I had trouble actually finding the stupid podcast nestled somewhere between Guns N' Roses and Ella Fitzgerald on my iPod. My boyfriend just dies when I say this, but, it just isn't important enough to me to spend the time figuring it out. If only I could pay Mickey to do it for me . . .

Anyway, although I hate my recorded self, I have no qualms about making my students do podcasts. Unfair, but the world is a cruel, cruel place. :) Anything I would require a video for would make an excellent podcast: presentations, scene re-enactments, well that's about all I require, but the possibilities are endless. I guess, technically, I could even have them discuss via podcast: one posts a question and others respond via their own podcast.

Sadly, I had trouble subscribing to the podcast I really wanted: Grammar Girl. For time's sake, I've decided to skip it for now and return to it at a later date. I also chose NPR Books, which happens to be one of my favorite parts of the NPR lineup anyway. I chose not to download iTunes for the simple reason that I rarely work on my 23Things on my personal computer. As I've already mentioned, I'm not very good about "listening" to things (ironically, I do listen to TV, however). I rarely even listen to music (again, Paul is cringing), so this makes a podcast kind of awkward for me. Considering how much I've complained about my lack of time, one would think podcasts would be my dream come true. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I even tried subscribing to the transcript of Grammar Girl (forgive me Father, for I have broken the commandments of Web 2.0). I promise, however, that I will make a concerted effort to listen to a podcast BEFORE I write Thing #7B so I can include it in my post.

And, for those who don't get my title, it's a Tom Hanks SNL reference (think Wayne's World and the Aerosmith roady).

Thing #18 - I Told You YouTube Was Cool

As much as we complained about the mother who posted her daughter for all the world to see, YouTube is awesome. As a lover of all those home videos of young men busting their butts in attempts to prove just how manly (and stupid) they are, YouTube is a gold mine. Granted, most of the videos I watch are on television (God bless The Smoking Gun and their World's Dumbest series), but at least 99% of those videos started out on YouTube. So many so that I actually recognize videos from YT that I later see on TV.

One of my personal favorites is of this young jackass who, having broken his left arm the night before, attempts to jump two flights of steps on inline skates and with the assistance of his friend driving a JEEP. As he launches toward his destination, common sense seems to grab hold of him, and as he hurtles toward sticking his landing, he decides to try and protect his injured arm only to use his good right arm as a battering ram. As he rolls around on the pavement, grasping his arm in a writhing fetal position and bellowing in pain like a 2 ton holstien, his friends cry out, "Someone call 911! He's broken his other arm!" Both tibula and fibula (as he later refers to them at the hospital) are jaggedly snapped in half and protruding from his skin. Some my find this gross, but I call it Natural Selection and laugh my butt off at his expense.

One of our fellow teachers (Caw who teaches Espanol) uses videos from YT to help his students practice adjectives. The kids watch the video and then yell out the adjective (in Spanish of course) that best describes what they've just watched. And, despite what the institution of Education will have us think about YouTube, it works. The kids are much more likely to remember some chuckle head face-planting off the roof of his bi-level onto the cement pool surround than they are the creepily drawn cartoons found in the text book.

I could never get my YouTube video to embed into this post, so here is my link.

Thing #16 - Library Thingy

Other than being some of the most simplistic writing I've ever encountered in a marketing tool, it really doesn't seem to actually DO that much. Let me start at the beginning.
1) If I'm visiting LibraryThing, I'm probably an avid reader (unless I'm just visiting as a requirement for 23 Things); If I'm an avid reader, I've probably got a pretty extensive vocabulary and a pretty sophisticated reading comprehension; this said, do they really need to sell there product with simple sentences? LT does this. LT does that. With LT, you can x, y and z.

2) My theory behind the above mentioned simple sentences is this: the emptiness of the text is a direct representation of what the product actually offers . . . Little to nothing. If it had something to offer, the description would require in-depth, complex sentences and this tour just doesn't have that.

3) I found the frequent repetition of the mantra "we don't sell books; we share them" rather humorous. This is such a transparent reaction to napster and its legal fallout. I can't say that I blame them, but they are walking a very fine line.

4) My favorite line in the whole tour is "We don't sell books, we just KNOW books". Granted, this is similar to the mantra discussed in #3, but what differentiates this line from the previous is the all caps "KNOW". In actuality, LibraryThing doesn't KNOW books; LibraryThing is nothing more than a complex database that can track trends and find patterns. And, I'm willing to bet, the people behind LibraryThing are not "Book people" but IT gurus who know how to keep the server(s) up and running. If anything, these people know Sci-fi and fantasy (hows that for type casting and racial profiling?!).

5) My bottom line is this: if you are a particularly anal retentive/OCD kind of person (which I am) this service may be just be the greatest thing since sliced bread because it allows us to catalog our personal library. However, back to #1, the techno-readers amongst us are probably reading online of via Kindle already and, therefore, have their literature already cataloged. For those who prefer the smell and tactile experience of reading, a virtual catalog would be unsatisfactory; such people would be much more satisfied with an old-fashioned card catalog (which actually sounds pretty cool).

On a final note, like the rest of the things, LibraryThing is dependent on a students accessibility to technology and, as much as we like to tout our technological prowess, there just isn't the funds to make such tools mandatory. Until then, we will have to continue with the old school ways of doing things.

Thing #15 - Not so Delicious as say Ben and Jerry's or a Fresh Pizza

I have avoided working on my 23 things this week because I just have so much real work to do. Normally, I would do anything rather than grade essays, but the very thought of investigating social networking makes me whoozy. I'm beginning to feel A) like a circus lion jumping through flaming hoops, B) that this is all busy work, and C) that no one is actually reading our responses (except for all of you who are fellow web 2.0 learners). I like the knowledge I've learned thus far, but I have to wonder if it's really all that important if I know how to use, let alone know of, Delicious. SIGH. I'm not trying to be a spoil sport, but I'm frustrated and I feel more like one of my students than a highly educated adult with 14 years experience in education. I'm not having fun anymore. Alas, I've come to far to give up; I'm more than halfway finished. Unfortunately, I have to include a link in this post to prove I've completed my task, and I'm a horrid liar, so here it goes:

I have absolutely no idea how I would use this professionally. Personally, yes. I am, as my friends know, a fanatic "virtual" on (and off) line shopper (this means I don't actually have to buy anything . . . I just love to look). I have pages and pages of bookmarked sites I visit on a regular basis in search of cool things I might want to buy or give as gifts if and when I ever have the money. I think Delicious (or devilicious as I think I will call it) would work smashingly for this. Of course, I'm not acctually going to do that, because it would be a total pain in the butt; I've got a system I like and prefer to remain in the 20rd century (that's for you Salinger).

On a side note, I found this while searching for sites to bookmark. Everyone should have one of these (see, now you're going to have to follow my link to know what I'm talking about. C'mon. All the cool kids are doing it. You know you want to. Give in to the peer pressure and enjoy). Also, The Truth is Out There.

Thing #14 which used to be Thing #13

***UPDATE.2***
I have changed the name of this post yet again because I'm afraid I won't be given credit for Thing #14 if this post isn't OBVIOUSLY labeled Thing #14. That's all.

**UPDATE**

Some how I managed to "mashup" thing 13 with thing 14 which really sucks because I have the same comment for both: great ideas IF one has the time and no restrictions (if only such a world existed without having to be Paris Hilton). I did find this groovy skeleton thingy (and holiday appropriate). Originally, it was going to spell out Ninja Mickey, but it became too much work to save each individual letter, paste them into the post, link them, yada, yada, yada. Sorry, but all you're getting today is a link to the spelletons - get it?! Skeletons + spell = spelletons! Ha! I kill me. I feel sorry for the dude on the right side of the N - man, that's gotta hurt (weird train of thought . . . why does the spell-checker have issues with "thingy" but not "gotta"?! Stupid thingy!).

ORIGINAL POST:
This post will have to be short and sweet seeing as I've already lost too much time to a 24 hour tumor and must get back to the job for which I am paid.

If I were a stay-at-home mom with a ton of time on my hands and the holidays coming up, I could have a field day with these tools. A social extravaganza, if you will: twelve months o' babies, teething newsletters, jigsaw babies, pithy talking toddlers, and the ever popular Annual Christmas Card (capitalized because, in my family, it's a real event). And let's not EVEN discuss the scrapbooking potential here! Oy Vey!

Unfortunately, however, with the inane emphasis the state and districts put on TAKS, there is not only no time for fun, but, if it's not covered in the TEKS (which these types of tools are not for secondary English), we aren't allowed to do it. For all their bluster about technology in the classroom, they really don't want us utilizing it. Honestly, the only application I see for these tools in an educational setting is if a student of their own accord, on their own time, and of their own choosing (after all, we can't force them to . . . not when the majority of kids live at or below the poverty line), utilizes said tool to complete a portion of a project. And a very small portion of that project because they must also complete a TAKS-style multiple choice test, a series of OER questions, essays from two unknown genres, deconstruct it all, and redo it, correcting the mistakes.

And, with that, I am done because discussing the the topic further will only raise my blood pressure and drive me to the stroke I will inevitably have thanks to the educational systems and all it's infinite jackassedness! I need a new job.

Thing #7.2 (or 7a)

My newest web find is an instant favorite. I have spent literally hours perusing it's past blogs. When I'm sad, I swing by for a quick pick-me-up. I have shared its contents with my colleagues and they are now addicted too. What is this amazing find?! Why, it's none other than CakeWreck, of course! It has absolutely no educational value whatsoever other than it makes me happy and that keeps me from killing those around me. I have honestly laughed so hard and for so long at this site that I have given myself a headache. Not a good side effect, but well worth the pain. The picture shown here is just a sample of the hours of entertainment found within (thank you Michael H. via CakeWrecks.com). Obviously, much of the humor is a subtle humor that only an English teacher could appreciate. Not only are the photos a visual gag, but, often, it's the written voice of the author (Jen) that adds just the right (and oh, so familiar sounding) touch that results in food item spraying forth from my nose. As soon as I was able, I used my new web 2.0 skills to subscribe and now find a jewel in my reader every morning.

Gluten free Girl blogged about an apple festival she attended on "the island." I'm going to assume she means Long Island and not Alcatraz. Apparently, they had 70 (who new) varieties of apples for the tasting and, of course, all the cider one could drink. This reminded me so much of my childhood spent in Michigan and Wisconsin. Every fall, my family and I went to the orchards to pick apples, drink cider, and dunk the all-important plain cake donut in said cider. My mouth watered into a slippery pool down my chin and on to the floor. I MUST HAVE CIDER! NEED DO-NUT! In my hall at school, we do a monthly breakfast; Salinger, Caw and I are in charge in November. I'm thinking apples shall be the theme. MMMMMMM . . . apples. Apple strudel, apple donuts, apple compote, apple salad, apple butter, apple muffins, apple bread, apple cider, apple juice, apple, apple, apple! On a side note, she also included a recipe for GF English muffins I want to try.

Not Martha has also been talking about apples lately. She provided pictures of some exceptionally yummy looking apples she picked on a recent trip to a Seattle area orchard, as well as a link to the most orgasmic looking candied apples I've ever seen. Truly the Ben and Jerry's of candy apples. FYI, candied apples only exist in the south (and frankly, I find the red "goo" not so appetizing because) we only have caramel apples in the mid-west. In all the states I've lived in (that's six, by the way), I had never heard of a "candied" apple until I moved to Georgia (state number 5). Which brings me to another one of NM's posts/links: Recipes you've never heard of outside of your family*. In my family, like most good mid-westerns, we have a plethora of casseroles. My personal favorite, although not specific to my family only, is the chicken noodle or chicken a la king casserole. One I remember from middle school cafeteria is chili mac (that's right . . . chili with macaroni noodles). Not my favorite, however, if you have never attended public school in a farm community, you just don't know what you're missing . . . the food is - mmwah (frenchesque finger kissing sound) - fantastic!

*I'd love to connect you to this post, but, as I write, there seems to be a technical difficulty on Chowhound's end. I do apologize.

Thing #13

The night vision picture (below right) was created with a night vision capable camera (at least that's what Mickey told me). If YOU wanted to reproduce this effect, you'll need to first upload a picture into comic strip generator, add an accessory such as Mickey's groovy shades using the add props option and then save it as a jpg to a personal folder. You will then upload the new picture (the one with the prop added), and choose the funny template option. The last step is to add the green tint: to the right of the picture, there will be an "add effects" tag; click "more"; you'll be given several options, but the one you need is under colorization.

The wanted picture to the upper left (which, again, Mickey swears is the real deal from his gun-slinger days) can be created in a similar fashion to the night vision picture. Just upload the picture onto comic strip generator, chose a funny template, and then gave the whole image a sepia tone.

The final masterpiece to the left I did actually create using the trading card program. It is Ninja Mickey approved however.

To be honest, I stuck to a basic pattern because the flckr spell thing was p!$$!*g me off. I could never figure out how to add it to my post and, after two days of trying, I gave up. These pics were easy once I figured out how to do it. You can probably guess the order in which I completed them based just on the complexity of each picture. I had more trouble getting all three pics in and making the text work than I did actually making the pics themselves. I'm glad I'm done, though. I see myself using these programs again real soon . . . if I can find the freakin' time. OY!